First Encounter
by Kakeman89
Summary: A Stormtrooper and a Imperial Communications Officer get stranded on a planet with little fuzzy monsters.
1. Caught With Their Pants Down

First Encounter Part One

By: The Kakeman

Caught With Their Pants Down

The 502nd platoon of Imperial Stormtroopers was sent to a forest moon to scout it out for possible base locations. When they touched down, they stumbled across the creatures. Ewoks. They were cute, furry creatures that were only knee high. They appeared harmless enough. Omar was an Imperial Stormtrooper, he knew better than to judge by appearances. Something small and furry could still pose a threat. He thought it would happen, he didn't think it would be so soon though. He was doing his business in a bush when he heard the screams and the blaster fire. He immediately jumped up and ran towards the Ewok camp, blaster rifle in hand. When Omar stepped into the clearing, he was shocked to see the bodies of his fellow troopers scattered all over the forest floor. Either their bodies had spears sting out of the armor joints or they had been stoned to death. Omar found his commanding officer's body. He'd had his armor off. The little devils had stuck him all over with what looked like dozens of spears. Omar noticed everywhere he looked no soldier had a helmet.

_What could they possibly want with our helmets he wandered._ He heard a stick snap in the bushes behind him. Spinning around he brought his blaster rifle to bear where an Ewoks head would be. Instead of an Ewoks head, in his sights was a human groin.

"Whoa, don't shoot!" the newcomer exclaimed. Omar studied him. He was wearing a comm officer's uniform, he looked genuinely scared, but he wouldn't look at Omar. Sometimes Stormtroopers have that effect. Omar didn't care.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Well…um…the CO had too much ale…um…you know how he gets…well he tried to force himself on…uh…the Ewok princess."

"Oh. This story isn't going to end well."

"Yeah…uh…so he got caught and the rest of the story you can see." The comm officer finally looked him in the eye. "You do know that you're…uh…you know…not wearing pants, right?"

"Oh" Omar looked down. He was completely naked from the waist down.

_I knew I forgot something_, he thought.

"Um, I'll be back." Omar ran back to get his pants. _Well that was awkward,_ he thought as he found and put on his pants. He was on his way back when he heard more blaster fire, but this time it was coupled with Ewok screams. Omar checked his rifle and took off running toward the camp and the comm officer. He burst through a yorrik coral bush (what the heck?) and into the clearing. The comm officer was on the ground, a spear pinning him to the ground through his left thigh. He had a blaster pistol in his hand, shooting Ewoks. With each shot an Ewok fell, a smoking hole in their face. Omar watched in awe as three dozen Ewoks died by the comm officer's hand. Finally the Ewoks retreated, not wanting to lose any more comrades. Omar came out of his shock and realized he'd never fired a shot.

Later, when Omar was patching up the comm officer's leg, he asked

"Why aren't you a stormtrooper? I've never seen anybody as good a shot."

The comm officer replied," I tried out but didn't make it. They told me I wasn't accurate enough."

"What?!" Omar Exclaimed.

"My name's Fuk by the way."

"What?!" Omar exclaimed.

"Fuk, my name." he said pointing to himself.

Omar shook his head. "Do you have a nickname or something I can call you?"

"Well my last name is Youu. Some of my friends call me Fube." Fuk said trying to help. Omar was now holding his head in his hands.

"Ok Fube. Glad to meet you."

"You to. So what's the plan? To get off the planet I mean." Fube asked.

"Well the only ship on this rock is the troop carrier we flew in here on. Those creatures know where it is so we'll have to fight our way to it. We'll have to wait until your leg heals enough for you to run. Until then we'll have to play hide and seek with these creatures." Omar said. He thought about the ship. He had left the cargo bay doors open when they were unloading the equipment. "Oh fu…"

Fube stared at him.

"Uh…fudge."

_That could have been awkward. _Omar thought. There was a noise in the forest in the woods behind Omar. Acting quickly Omar threw Fube over his shoulder and ran, pointing his rifle behind him and squeezing the trigger.

"You're not hitting anything." Omar heard Fube say. _This is going to be a long journey_ Omar thought as he ran through another yorrik coral bush.(wait what the?)


	2. Yub Yubs

**First Encounter Part 2**

**Yubyubs**

Omar had a plan. Now that Fube's leg healed, they could go on the offensive against the Ewoks. Sounds weird when you say it like that he thought. However, anything was better than lying awake one more night listening to their cheerful yet devilish

"Yub yubs" from the stormtrooper's sleeping bag.

"This is what we're going to do," Omar started explaining to Fube for what felt like the hundredth time, "We take this path to that look out tower filled with Yubyubs…"

Since Omar and Fube noticed the Ewoks had different colored hoodies, they gave them classes. Yubyubs ranged from light brown to dark brown hoodies and were not to hard to kill. Woowoos on the other hand wore red hoodies and were kind of like the special ops of the Ewoks. This kind of Ewok is smart, methodical and sometimes, well, insane. Tungees were the leader or an elder of a tribe. Their hoodies were usually adorned in bones. Omar continued with his plan.

"The ship is just beyond that tower filled with Yubyubs so we have to be quick when we storm the place. Then we run a short distance to the ship then while you go to the cockpit, I will search the rest of the ship. When you get to the cockpit, prep the ship for take off. After I'm done killing all of the Ewoks in the ship, I will join you and we can fly off this freak show of a planet."

Fube thought this was a good plan.

"So you're storming the tower all by yourself? I want to kill one too." Fube whined. Omar stared at Fube through his visor. After three weeks of being alone with the whiney, childish comm. officer, Omar was toying with the idea of leaving him behind. Or shooting him right here.

Omar crouched in the bushes eyeing the tower they had to storm. Well they didn't have to but Omar wanted to kill some ewoks before he left. Also, he had a line he was dieing to say. So while sneaking up to the base of tower he practiced his line. When he felt confident that he had it down, he flung open the hatch and charged in.

Woopee was extremely happy for the moment. He had just opened a new restaurant, which, for an ewok on the lower branches, was a great accomplishment. The location was peaceful and high in a tree with a great view. To the north, east, and west was nothing special, just the city and some open space. However, to the south was something peculiar. A ginormous, huge, bigantous, shiny, gleaming, metallic object. That's what got Woopee the most business today. His sign said 'Woopee's Diner. Come see the beast of mysterious beauty.' Woopee was extremely happy still thinking about his good fortune when a huge white monster popped out like a jack-in-the-box and yelled something Whoopee thought was retarded. The monster screamed "Have Peace!" and something else that Woopee couldn't understand. It didn't matter. The white dick head shot red bolts of energy that killed Woopee's customers. Those same red bolts found Woopee in a matter of seconds.

Omar jumped into the room like a jack-in-the-box. The Yubyubs weren't expecting it. They all sitting at tables, eating, when he burst in. This was his chance. He now had to say the line. So, in all his stormtrooper glory he screamed,

"Yub Yub you bastards!"

A few seconds later, Omar stepped over ewok corpses. He could see the ship from here. It looked unprotected enough for them to blast their way in and fly it away.

"Let's go, Fube. Stop eating!"

Fube stopped stuffing whatever he had found on a plate into his mouth and started following Omar. When they were nearing the ship, Omar started growing suspicious. They had no resistance since the tower, and now they were at the ship and no one was here. All of a sudden, a woowoo came flying on a tree vine strait towards Omar.

"Eiiiiii!" it screamed.

"Agghh!" Omar screamed.

"Muh ha ha!" Fube laughed as he shot the woowoo in the air, before it hit Omar. It dropped like a rock right at Omar's feet. Omar looked up at Fube.

"You're insane, Fube." he said. Fube gave him a look.

"You massacre an entire restaurant of ewoks and then I shoot one attacking woowoo and you call me insane?"

"What? A restaurant? What?? How do you know it was a restaurant?"

"Didn't you read the sign? It said 'Whoopee's Diner. Come see the beast of mysterious beauty.'" Fube said. Omar looked at the ewok body.

"See what I mean? He's insane."

Omar and Fube boarded the ship ready for anything, but there was nobody on the ship.

"Fube go get the ship ready for take off." Omar ordered.

"Yes sir." Fube said and ran to the cockpit. Twenty minutes later, Omar got Fube on the intercom.

"Are we ready to go yet?" he asked.

"Almost. I just have to let the engines warm up." Fube replied.

Suddenly Omar heard a sound behind him. He spun to find six Woowoos between him and his blaster rifle. They were all staring at him. Omar knew the cockpit could be sealed off. It was strait down the corridor behind him. He didn't know if he could make it but it was worth a try. They knew what he was thinking. He could see it in their menacing stares. _Now, _he thought and ran as fast as he could toward the cockpit.

"FUBE!" he yelled.

"Omar?" Fube peeked his head out of the cockpit door. When he saw the Woowoos he screamed and went to seal the door.

"WAIT!" Omar was almost there. "NOW!" he screamed diving through the opening just as the door hissed closed. Omar got up and jumped in the pilot's chair taking the controls and pulling the ship into the air. _At least we're safe in here. _Omar thought. As soon as the ship flew out of the gravitational pull of the planet, Omar activated the hyperdrive.

Epilogue

Omar was in the deepest sleep since they first landed on the planet. Suddenly the ship bucked and woke him. Fube was leaning over the console.

"There was a gravitational anomaly. It pulled us right out of hyperspace."

Omar started to look at the radar. Fube started singing. "Yub nub, eee chop yub nub, toe meet toe pee chee keene, g'noop dock fling oh ah…" Fube notice Omar's glare. "What? Oh come on you have to admit it's catchy. Yah wah, eee chop yah wah…" Omar turned away. Then joined in quietly. "toe meet toe pee chee keene, g'noop dock fling oh ah…" Suddenly a huge ship appeared in the viewport.

"Holy…" Fube and Omar were speechless. It was the size of the Death Star only it wasn't a sphere, it was rectangular It looked like the rafters of a building stuck together in triangles with lights dotting all along the hull. Omar and Fube goggled in silence until the ship hailed them.

"Put them on." Omar said to Fube. They tore their eyes away from the viewport and, to their surprise, saw an ewok.

"Ah, a few more humans for my experiments." the ewok said in basic while motioning to someone off screen. The transmission cut off and when Omar looked up a bolt of electricity shot out of the big ship and headed strait for their small carrier. Omar and Fube looked at each other.

"Oh Sh…" they never got to finish the sentence before the bolt hit the carrier and they fell into unconsciousness.

To Be Continued…


End file.
